Regarding issue #2, even in the IB1 ROM, if you're in a call with the headset, speaker doesn't work, don't think there is a way to transfer call back to speaker unless it is a menu option...
When I press the menu button on the phone, the response comes from the phone speaker. It's only when it's activated using the bluetooth headset, that the headset is used.
Issue #2 is about the speakerphone, when you hit "Speaker On" during a call without a headset.
You can switch back from hands-free mode during a call with Menu->"Turn Hands-Free Off"