Get Rid of the Grasshoppers

[Guest mcwarre]

REST-OF-THE-WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

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THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival the tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost

[Guest awarner (MVP)]

And all too true :rolleyes:

Now you know why I'm leaving this * hole of a country.

[Guest Mr_Blonde1971]

And all too true :rolleyes:

Now you know why I'm leaving this * hole of a country.

And you think it will be different in any other country <_<

Good luck wherever you go.

[Guest awarner (MVP)]

Yep where I'm going I'm very sure :rolleyes:

[Guest drblow]

Its a shame that the advancement of the human race depends on every individual person empathising & reaching out to others in society, because it is the very attitudes expressed above (entertaining & ironic though it is) that make British people so insular.

The bit that really makes me laugh is the idea that the 'squirrel' gets taxed more, and eventually the 'grasshopper' ends up eating his food ... to think that actually equates to society is hilarious ... I can't remember anyone ever actually getting anything from the 'squirrels' in society, even though there may be alot of talk about taxing those who are better off at a higher rate - when was the last time that actually happpened ... and to be honest my opinion is that would not be a bad thing.

Anyway, what's the alternative? A society that really couldn't give a f**k about anybody - which is really what's being implied above if you read between the lines. Don't get me wrong ... I get the overall idea & I'm not promoting a society that picks up after leeches (to continue the 'animal' theme), but every example given above is based on some idea along the line of helping the 'less fortunate' (and yes that does mean even criminals, junkies etc etc). The reason we should encourage that kind of response is because it is the right thing to do - which is very rarely the mosts sensible/realistic/practical thing to do.

Otherwise what is evolution for? We might aswell go back to a tribal/feudal system where we barter goats, burn witches, and leave the weak to starve to death on the slopes of Mt. Oblivion!!

Or am I just being silly??

:rolleyes:

[Guest mcwarre]

There is a complete difference between those who work for a living and those that don't (as opposed from can't). This place is full of too many people who want something for nothing. Get of their a*ses and go and earn it; it is not up to others to pay for them.

I grew up in a caravan and because I got off my behind and worked extremely hard I have a decent house, job and qualifications. My wife and I pay significant amounts of taxes for what? The square root of b*gger all. Bring in the US benefits system. There are none. It means people have to work to live. Why should I pay for lazy gits to stay at home and breed whilst I go to work??? [/high horse]

Edited October 6, 2006 by mcwarre

[Guest Confucious]

Yep where I'm going I'm very sure :rolleyes:

Where're you going Ash? We'll miss you, but no doubt you'll still have an internet connection so we won't notice you've gone :(

The story is very true - Having empathy with people that try and fail is very good, having empathy with people that don't try and ecpect everything on a plate is a bit harder...

[Guest drblow]

But that's what I mean ... there are very few people in society who do not work because they are too lazy. The US system of little or no benefits leads to increased levels of poverty - there are very few ghettos in Britain that would compare with the levels of poverty in America.

OK, there may be some people who do appear to want to live on benefits, and could be considered to be living at the taxpayers expense (what comes to mind is that woman 'Lizzy' from wife swap, you know??), but the vast majoriy of people who require benefits to survive are doing so out of necessity, not laziness. It is imperative that they do not suffer because of the actions of a few idiots that abuse the system, and the reaction of easily swayed voters by manipulation of the media.

Its great that you worked hard and have success, but not everybody has that chance. In a brief overview of some people's situation, it may appear that they failed to take opportunities because of their own faults (drug abuse, alcohol etca) but most often a closer lok at those individuals reveals a myriad of other problems ... most of which can ultimately be traced back to poverty.

Don't be fooled ... if the government was to suddenly end the welfare state, do you really believe that taxes would be reduced?? :rolleyes:

[Guest Confucious]

Dr Blow - The older I get, the more I tend to agree with you. I wish it was easy to seperate the scroungers (believe me, there are some) from the genuine people. We can't let genuine claimants suffer because we cant seperate them from the scroungers which is why we have to continue paying all of them - doesn't mean it doesn't get peoples backs up though :rolleyes:

[Guest drblow]

Ah, what are you gonna do, eh? Life is never as black & white as we wish it was. The closer you look at the details the harder it gets to assign blame ... and the more difficulty there is in differentiating between circumstances. The problem is consistently exacerbated by the media, which presents a very narrow view of reality that aims to direct opinion towards one thing or another, and as a result a very large percentage of the population believe only that one narrow viewpoint because that's all they have seen or heard.

Like you said, the older you get ... the more people say you're just an ageing liberal who can't take a joke!! :rolleyes:

[Guest Confucious]

No one has ever acused me of being a Liberal!

Or of not being able to take a joke1

[Guest drblow]

I get that alot! :rolleyes:

[Guest Confucious]

Bloody liberal - can't you take a joke? hehe

[Guest mcwarre]

I think we are actually agreeing in round-about terms :rolleyes:

Its great that you worked hard and have success, but not everybody has that chance.

I didn't have a chance, I made it happen. If you work hard enough your efforts will be rewarded. Its the hard work that worries some :(

[Guest Samsonite]

Confucious and Dr Blow

I'm glad you put those views forward as i wanted to reply with that standpoint but really struggled to distill my point down enough... Glad you did it for me.

what does rattle me - and this certainly isnt an attack on awarner's comment of leaving these shores to wherever - is the low opinion some people have of this country. It is what WE make it.

we do have questions that need to be answered with regard the welfare state, especially with the enlargement of the EU in the pipeline giving rise to potential massive influx of economic migrants.

i am glad that we are able to look after people less fortumate than me.

[Guest mcwarre]

Wow. What started as a 'comment' has turned into a social debate. What is better is that it is a friendly and informed one. Thanks.

Informed debate and the freedom to express oneself is what distinguishes us from a more fuedal/lesser society.

[Guest awarner (MVP)]

I started writing a long rant than gave up, some people look through rose tinted glasses and can always find some form of excuse as to why people are in an unfortunate position and that no one is really to blame, everyone is just misunderstood and should be cared for.

Britain used to be Great Britain, but over the years the nanny state and human rights teams have hung, drawn and quarted the country into a place I can no longer be proud of.

The country I go to will be a place where I will respect their laws the way of life and make sure I work damn hard for a living to help them and not leach from them.

(and still turned into a rant :rolleyes: )

[Guest Ingvarr]

I say most of these problems is from inability of population majority to look at things the way they really are. People prefer to live in own worlds these times, and thats why absurd goes in rank of rules and laws.

[Guest mcwarre]

@awarner

Here here!

@Ingvarr

Sorry I can't underatand you.............. :rolleyes:

[Guest Ingvarr]

Ok, just an example.

"The one who doesn't work, doesn't eat". This is the fundamental truth of life.

However, many people will not accept it. Because its "too harsh and shouldnt be". They will try to pretend that this is not a truth and not a law of nature. But you can not cancel law of nature by not beleiving in it, you will only harm yourself. And other people, if you will spread such philosophy - but basically, thats what now happens in many social areas in European developed countries.

Edited October 7, 2006 by Ingvarr

[Guest Ingvarr]

And another 5 cents.

When a goverment machine starts caring for people, it tend to quickly atrophy the real friendship and real inter-human care, when close knots of people fight together against (almost universally harsh) laws of nature, wheither it physical laws or social & economic ones. Bah, it even atrophies the self-care :rolleyes:

No much need for person to personally care about others if machine will take care for them. And so people become pigs :(

I say, people must be helped by other people, not by laws & institutions.

Edited October 7, 2006 by Ingvarr

[Guest The Doctor]

And another 5 cents.

When a goverment machine starts caring for people, it tend to quickly atrophy the real friendship and real inter-human care, when close knots of people fight together against (almost universally harsh) laws of nature, wheither it physical laws or social & economic ones. Bah, it even atrophies the self-care :rolleyes:

No much need for person to personally care about others if machine will take care for them. And so people become pigs :(

I say, people must be helped by other people, not by laws & institutions.

I say people have got to learn to help themselves....... Get off their arse and work! Even give something BACK to the country they live in instead of simply taking!

And if you don't want to work.... why should anybody help you?!

Phil

Edited October 7, 2006 by The Doctor

[Guest Ingvarr]

Point is, they woudnt work because they can take anything they need from their country just sitting on their asses. Basically, they exploit the softness and kindness of other people.

To force them working, country should stop helping them. But dont dream of trying doing so. "Its inhumane!" they will say. And technically they right, you try to force them to abide the law of nature, and laws of nature isnt humane. And demagogy wins again.

Edited October 7, 2006 by Ingvarr

[Guest The Doctor]

Point is, they woudnt work because they can take anything they need from their country just sitting on their asses. Basically, they exploit the softness and kindness of other people.

To force them working, country should stop helping them. But dont dream of trying doing so. "Its inhumane!" they will say.

As Ash said... Great Britain is no longer 'Great'

These people are sapping this country and all its resources all because they can't be bothered to do what the rest of us do and go and work for their own living, instead they will let the state pay for it purely because the benefits scheme is soft enough that it will!

People should be given a MAXIMUM of 12 months benefit.... plenty of time to find a job, and after they find a job payment would cease, if they still fail to declare they have a job after 12 months then they are either:

a) Lying

or

b ) Can't be bother to work in which case they shouldn't get any benefit anyway

As for unfair... is it really fair that we who have jobs should pay to keep those who don't bother to work out of the money we earn and pay to the government in taxes?

And yes, the laws of nature are to an extent inhumane, however should they wish to keep on the right side of natures laws then they will have to do something about it! I.E. WORK!!!!

[/rant]

Phil

Edited October 7, 2006 by The Doctor

[Guest Ingvarr]

Well, its your country, so make it happen.

Since it happened exactly opposite way, I suppose the real majority of your population thinks that "helpless should be helped" and "successfull asses should be penalized".

When lazy people make majority of the population, the status quo will be automatically supported by them.